Disclaimer: Any reference(s) to living beings in this post is directed at their ability to take it in the right spirit (hic!) and is cent percent intentional.
English.
I am glad I have the gene to appreciate the beauty of the language. A few people I know call it eccentric. Even my dad who is a very good exponent of vocal English chooses to call it peculiar, and attributes his reasoning to phonetics. As dad sees English phonetics, G-H-O-T-I is pronounced "FISH".
GH as in enouGH
O as in wOmen
TI as in funcTIon.
And there you go. GHOTI = FISH. Pronounce words the way you want. It's a free country.
I disagree.
Words are supposed to be pronounced and written the way they should be. I've always subscribed to the puritan school of thought as far as written and spoken English are concerned (though any vocabulary along the lines of these is always frowned upon. Substituting words with their verbose counterparts does not exactly qualify as creative writing).
It's surprising that in this context, man errs deliberately, as is his wont, in the world of type chatting. Sample this. Most of us would be used to these kind of statements:
Margarine man:
Instance #1: thr? i gt rmnded of smthn. rmembr tht plce in velacheri whr i stayd?
Instance #2: Ntn. Bi bi.
(Our man despises vowels, by the looks of it. And the letter 'g' too. But it's become routine to omit 'g', specially if it's a trailing 'g'. Somethin'. Anythin'. Nothin'. Geez! Where are they?!)
Obbu BOBbu:
Instance #1: Chk dat. im gng der. r u 2 cmin wid us or wat?
Instance #2: k. u hrd abt dem? dey r gng to cum 2 pilani!
(A clear obsession to replace th with d. Erm, I am not going to classify the other typos.)
Mr. Nose Picker:
Instance #1: cmon...tis s chennai...ppl can liv outside cols!!!
Instance #2: wodever. actualli, i hav watchd onli 3 movies..."d john nash" movie ,den "no country 4 old men" and den crouchin tiger hidden dragon..seriousli gud!
(Substituting Y with I? Why?! Might as well type 'y' and get the spelling correct, right? No, this is style, he says. 'Wodever'. )
And finally,
The Rather-Man:
(quoted verbatim from an online profile)
Passions: sittin idle gazin at te sky(sounds too poetic rather..)nyways dats wat i luv doin!!!chattin for hrs...nd all other stuffs vich r absolutely worthless...,
Cuisines: vnt given a try (?!)
(No comments)
I understand the whole fiasco started with a brilliant mobile phone provision called SMS. Rather frustrating to hit a key thrice to get a letter on the screen. T9 dictionaries are a waste of time and space (No point arguing how efficient the data structure is, Mr.Huffman. No one is using your algorithm, sadly).
So the practice carried over to keyboards as well. I for one find it much much easier to type "Are you there?" in double quick time compared to its chat lingo counterpart "r u der?"
And the worst part is everyone's doing it. I find it revolting to find people replying "S" to my questions. On my part, no amount of cajoling people to type out each word in its entirety has worked so far.
So I resort to derision. Not that it works. At least I get some kick out of the conversation.
Credits: Dad, Goldilocks and people who've made me get my act together for this post ;)
English.
I am glad I have the gene to appreciate the beauty of the language. A few people I know call it eccentric. Even my dad who is a very good exponent of vocal English chooses to call it peculiar, and attributes his reasoning to phonetics. As dad sees English phonetics, G-H-O-T-I is pronounced "FISH".
GH as in enouGH
O as in wOmen
TI as in funcTIon.
And there you go. GHOTI = FISH. Pronounce words the way you want. It's a free country.
I disagree.
Words are supposed to be pronounced and written the way they should be. I've always subscribed to the puritan school of thought as far as written and spoken English are concerned (though any vocabulary along the lines of these is always frowned upon. Substituting words with their verbose counterparts does not exactly qualify as creative writing).
It's surprising that in this context, man errs deliberately, as is his wont, in the world of type chatting. Sample this. Most of us would be used to these kind of statements:
Margarine man:
Instance #1: thr? i gt rmnded of smthn. rmembr tht plce in velacheri whr i stayd?
Instance #2: Ntn. Bi bi.
(Our man despises vowels, by the looks of it. And the letter 'g' too. But it's become routine to omit 'g', specially if it's a trailing 'g'. Somethin'. Anythin'. Nothin'. Geez! Where are they?!)
Obbu BOBbu:
Instance #1: Chk dat. im gng der. r u 2 cmin wid us or wat?
Instance #2: k. u hrd abt dem? dey r gng to cum 2 pilani!
(A clear obsession to replace th with d. Erm, I am not going to classify the other typos.)
Mr. Nose Picker:
Instance #1: cmon...tis s chennai...ppl can liv outside cols!!!
Instance #2: wodever. actualli, i hav watchd onli 3 movies..."d john nash" movie ,den "no country 4 old men" and den crouchin tiger hidden dragon..seriousli gud!
(Substituting Y with I? Why?! Might as well type 'y' and get the spelling correct, right? No, this is style, he says. 'Wodever'. )
And finally,
The Rather-Man:
(quoted verbatim from an online profile)
Passions: sittin idle gazin at te sky(sounds too poetic rather..)nyways dats wat i luv doin!!!chattin for hrs...nd all other stuffs vich r absolutely worthless...,
Cuisines: vnt given a try (?!)
(No comments)
I understand the whole fiasco started with a brilliant mobile phone provision called SMS. Rather frustrating to hit a key thrice to get a letter on the screen. T9 dictionaries are a waste of time and space (No point arguing how efficient the data structure is, Mr.Huffman. No one is using your algorithm, sadly).
So the practice carried over to keyboards as well. I for one find it much much easier to type "Are you there?" in double quick time compared to its chat lingo counterpart "r u der?"
And the worst part is everyone's doing it. I find it revolting to find people replying "S" to my questions. On my part, no amount of cajoling people to type out each word in its entirety has worked so far.
So I resort to derision. Not that it works. At least I get some kick out of the conversation.
Credits: Dad, Goldilocks and people who've made me get my act together for this post ;)
